Archive of ‘Inspiration’ category

Now what?

Container 

How can new life spring

 

From this emptiness in me?

 

You are not empty!

Wow!  I was amazed at all the responses to my ‘Anatomy of a Resurrection’ post last week.  It seems we are quite a large flock of Phoenixes.

Now what?

Step Two:  Create a sacred container.

You’ve read legends of alchemists who could turn base metal into gold, right?  No matter how magical or powerful alchemists were, they all needed one thing in common:  a container.  Without a container, the chemical reactions wouldn’t occur and the base materials would spill all over.

Alchemy requires a container.  

For us, as we rise from the ashes, we must create a sacred container for our lives.  Just like the alchemist’s bowl, the container itself isn’t ‘sexy’ – but oh, so necessary.  So when I tell you what I mean by ‘container for our lives,’ don’t just roll your eyes and say to yourself, “Oh, that!  Boring!”

Don’t let the simplicity or mundane nature of the container fool you.

What do I mean by ‘sacred container for our lives?’

Daily routine. The structure of your day.

Without this, no chemical reactions can happen because the elements of your day simply spill out.

You know what I’m talking about.  Whole days that are filled with frenzied activity, but the only result is exhaustion.   Sure, you may be getting a lot done – but you aren’t transformed into gold by the process.

When you create a sacred container for your life, your living transforms you into gold.  Tweet This

I’ve learned this many times in my own life.  Whenever I would attend a silent retreat, or a yoga or Nia training, the container was provided for me.    A schedule and a structure within which transformation could happen.  And DID happen.  But then I’d come home, with best intentions of keeping that structure, and over time I’d slip back into what I call “busyness without borders” and before I knew it, that golden glowing feeling was gone.

Here’s how to begin creating a strong container:

create a morning, noon and bedtime routine.

Morning:   GET UP! How you start the day sets the tone for the entire day.   Get yourself up (ideally before 6 am ….but that varies based on your constitution) and at a minimum do some stretches and deep breathing, then 5 minutes of meditation and set an intention for your day.

 GET UP.  BREATHE.  STRETCH.  PRAY.  SET INTENTION FOR THE DAY.

Noon:  Stop what you’re doing.  Sit.  Give thanks for your food and eat.  I know it’s basic, but so many people breeze right through this….eating on the go or not eating at all…and rarely giving thanks.  Trust me on this one.  It’s a key component to your container.

STOP.  SIT.  GIVE THANKS.  EAT.  

Bedtime:  What you take into sleep with you must be processed in your sleep.  So if the last thing you do at night is watch the news or read email, your brain and body will be processing those stress chemicals instead of doing what it wants to be doing – which is healing and repairing!

I know this is a tough one.  But if you want to rise from the ashes, you’ll have to buck up.  You’ll have to start winding down, turning off all electronics and go to bed no later than 11.  (depending on your constitution, you may need to be in bed at 9 or 10).  So when I say ‘turn out the lights’ I mean start turning off all electrical gadgets at least an hour before you plan to go to bed.

And just before dozing off, instead of counting sheep, offer a prayer of gratitude for at least three things.   Once you do this for a couple of weeks, you’ll be feeling SO MUCH BETTER.

TURN OUT THE LIGHTS. GIVE THANKS.  GO TO SLEEP.

As I write this I realize how helpful it would be for me to teach you how to custom build your container.  Would you be interested in a free webinar to learn specific elements based on your constitution to make your container stronger and more supportive of your transformation?  Let me know by commenting below….and I’ll create one just for you.

Stay tuned for the next steps …..

Love,

Deb

CLICK HERE if you missed last week’s ‘Anatomy of a Resurrection’ post and would like to join me on this journey.

If you have any friends who could use support as they emerge from the ashes, please pass this blog along. 

Resurrections are meant to be shared! – Tweet This

 

Be careful what you pray for…

         We all have our ways

         of numbing life

         when it gets too stressful.

                         Some of us watch entire seasons of other people’s lives.

                         While others surf the web

                         use alcohol, cigarettes, drugs or food

                         or, work, work, work, work.

Sugar has been my drug of choice to numb stress for as long as I can remember.  When I’m conscious and aware, I can see that I’m feeling stressed and what I really need is rest, yoga, meditation, dance, a walk, down time with my family or a chat with a friend.  But when I’m not so conscious and aware, I habitually begin numbing with simple sugars like gluten-free crackers, popcorn, dark chocolate, dried fruit, etc.

So last week when I realized I had slipped into those old habits I decided it was time for a sugar cleanse.

On the first day of the cleanse I woke up with this Haiku on my lips:

First step to freedom:

Stop numbing my emotions

With sugar and nice

Be careful what you pray for.

Within hours of writing that poem/prayer my back exploded with pain and muscle spasms.  It was as if all the emotions I had been suppressing surfaced in the form of what my beloved chiropractor called “a cataclysmic meltdown” of my back.

Why, you ask?

Well….one of my core values is HARMONY.

I really, really, really want everyone to be happy and harmonious.  Always.

To that end, I often do whatever it takes to maintain the peace.  Basically, be “nice.”

So if I stopped “being nice” AND I took away my numbing drug of choice, what would happen?

My back exploded at just the thought of it!

 

So here I am.

Heeding the messages that, once un-numbed, are loud and clear:

 

Stop

Reflect

Release what no longer serves

Let Divine Love guide the way.

 

My back no longer has to scream

Sugar is gone, gone, gone

And a new chapter begins.

How about you?  

Have you been numbing yourself?  

Are you ready to pray the prayer to fully feel?  

I promise it’s worth it.

 

It's Never Too Late

…to get your bliss back.

How do I know?  I’ve done it!

I’ve hit bottom a couple of times in my life. The last time was after my husband’s company filed bankruptcy. Instead of trusting Divine Order as I always had, I spiraled into panic. Fear began to drive every action and choice I made. Out of fear I chose to accept a high profile job that not only paid well but also required more than full time hours.

The harder I worked, the less I was available for my son and the more depressed my husband got. By 2007 I felt like a walking shell of a woman. Perhaps the worst part of all was that I was touted as the mind/body expert as I traveled to speak to audiences of 1000 women per city and in dozens of magazine articles. I felt like a fraud!!! I was exhausted, overweight, anxious, depressed, lonely, had no libido and was very frightened that I was going to miss out on my son’s entire childhood. I remember a general sense of numbness  – even when I had the rare opportunity to do something enjoyable.

I knew something was missing. I was longing to feel alive and connected. But despite my years of education and training in nursing, fitness, nutrition, and yoga I didn’t know what to do.

I know what it’s like to struggle.
To feel resentful of the very people you want to love…like your husband,  your kids or your best friend.
To numb out with sugar..then go on a clean diet and numb out with work.
To feel anything but sexy.

I know how frustrating it can be to follow advice from books and coaches and workshops only to find yourself stuck. Again.

I have spent years traveling far and wide to study with masters from around the world to reclaim my bliss.  Now it’s my turn to teach you.

I know how to get unstuck and I know it’s never too late…
To create a sacred relationship with your body
To have the energy and desire to enjoy being with your kids
To feel sexy, full of life…like yourself!
To reawaken a deeply satisfying connection with your beloved.

(Click here for your Bliss Intensive weekend)

I won’t lie and say this process requires no effort on your part. It does.group

But it can be done. And you can finally have support, specific guidance and tools from someone who has walked this path before.

Some information can only be learned through experience. That’s why I WAS COMPELLED TO  CREATE an opportunity for women to dive in and learn with me in an in-depth, hands-on retreat setting.

If you’ve been feeling cut off from your true power, cranky and overwhelmed or simply tired of running on fumes, my Bliss Intensive promises to be the powerful antidote you need.

This weekend intensive will provide the guidance, tools, and the container you need to bring back your natural state of bliss.

“Everything will be all right in the end….

…if it’s not all right, then it’s not yet the end.”
(My favorite quote from film “The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel)

I celebrated 12-12-12 with a group of women from my dance class.  We all brought items to create a beautiful altar space…sacred objects from diverse traditions, rose petals, fruit, photos, and candles.

We sat around a glorious fire and chanted as we released anything that might be blocking us in our lives.  Then we chanted as we offered prayers of gratitude and then prayers for ourselves, our loved ones and the world.  The energy in the room was a palpable blend of joy, release, love, hope, faith and peace.

The next morning I woke up at 5:30 am to prepare for the high school swim team’s December birthday breakfast.  You know the saying: “After the ecstasy, the laundry.”

I temporarily found myself catapulted from the other worldliness of our gathering to the shocking reality of breakfast tacos and teenagers.  And in my temporary state of forgetfulness I inhaled 2 pieces of (delicious, homemade) birthday cake.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with eating birthday cake. But mindlessly inhaling caramel cake on day 2 of a juice fast isn’t exactly how I had envisioned the day.

What to do? I almost slipped into an old pattern of self-loathing and self-punishment – but then I remembered that the whole point of the juice fast is to release ANY old patterns that are limiting me, so  I knew I needed to do something QUICK to keep from slipping into those old thought patterns.

Here’s what worked for me:

  1. Laugh.  Out loud.
  2. “Out” yourself to a friend and laugh with them.
  3. Go for a walk.
  4. Listen to ‘change your day’ music.  (Today I listened to Michael Beckwith’s “Trascendance”)

I know that if I had continued along the road of self-punishment and self-loathing I would still be sneaking leftover caramel cake.  But instead, I easily and effortlessly slipped right back in the rhythm and enjoyment of my juice fast.  All on the same day.

Has this ever happened to you?  In the name of a ‘spiritual practice’ have you ever taken the practice so seriously that it became a heart-constricting practice rather than a heart-expanding one?

If so, what do you do when you catch yourself slipping – especially when you are slipping into self-loathing and self-punishment for not doing it ‘right?’  I’d love to add your strategies to mine for the next time….

Would You Take This Dare?

We are never too old to dare ourselves to try something new. This spring I decided to do something I’ve never done before… in fact I’ve been afraid to even try. Yes, the Daring Diva was afraid to dare! Was it ziplining from tops of 100-year-old Cypress trees? Nope.  That was my Mother’s Day gift this year.

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My dare was much more adventurous. Much riskier. It was starting a vegetable garden!

Why was I so afraid of this?  Partly because my mom and sister are amazing gardeners and I never felt that I had their gift.  But mostly because I was afraid nothing would grow or that I’d kill whatever did grow.  Failure.  That’s what I was afraid of.  But my desire to live a more sustainable life and share this with my 13-year old son, Micah,  was stronger than my fear, so we dug in.  Literally.

To my delight, Micah really got into it… he was an instant pro with a hoe!

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We prepared the beds and planted carrots, parsley, cilantro, bell peppers, tomatoes, zucchini, cucumbers, basil and beans.

We watered every day and weeded almost every day.

And we waited.

For days nothing seemed to be growing but weeds.  Then we finally saw the green leaves of precious vegetables poking their heads out.  It was SOOOO exciting!!!

photo carrots

Everything started growing except the beans.  Only one bean plant out of 24 seeds grew.

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I have to admit that I felt sad every time I went to water the beans and was starting to feel like a “bean failure.”  But we didn’t give up.  We kept watering and weeding (and talking to the seeds – which is only a little embarrassing when you don’t realize your neighbor is in her backyard and can hear you reciting poetry to your barren plot of dirt).

And guess what?  One morning we woke up and 23 little bean sprouts had shot through the earth!!!  I literally JUMPED and DANCED for JOY!!!!!

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And within 2 days they were all growing into healthy bean plants!!

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I’m so glad I dared myself to plant this garden. It has given my son and me a very beautiful project to share. It has taught me so much about weeds and rabbits. It will soon provide fresh produce for my family. And it has taught me once again to never give up and to trust in the wisdom of Mother Nature.

Wanna share your favorite gardening tip with me?  I’m listening!!!!!

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