“Everything will be all right in the end….

…if it’s not all right, then it’s not yet the end.”
(My favorite quote from film “The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel)

I celebrated 12-12-12 with a group of women from my dance class.  We all brought items to create a beautiful altar space…sacred objects from diverse traditions, rose petals, fruit, photos, and candles.

We sat around a glorious fire and chanted as we released anything that might be blocking us in our lives.  Then we chanted as we offered prayers of gratitude and then prayers for ourselves, our loved ones and the world.  The energy in the room was a palpable blend of joy, release, love, hope, faith and peace.

The next morning I woke up at 5:30 am to prepare for the high school swim team’s December birthday breakfast.  You know the saying: “After the ecstasy, the laundry.”

I temporarily found myself catapulted from the other worldliness of our gathering to the shocking reality of breakfast tacos and teenagers.  And in my temporary state of forgetfulness I inhaled 2 pieces of (delicious, homemade) birthday cake.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with eating birthday cake. But mindlessly inhaling caramel cake on day 2 of a juice fast isn’t exactly how I had envisioned the day.

What to do? I almost slipped into an old pattern of self-loathing and self-punishment – but then I remembered that the whole point of the juice fast is to release ANY old patterns that are limiting me, so  I knew I needed to do something QUICK to keep from slipping into those old thought patterns.

Here’s what worked for me:

  1. Laugh.  Out loud.
  2. “Out” yourself to a friend and laugh with them.
  3. Go for a walk.
  4. Listen to ‘change your day’ music.  (Today I listened to Michael Beckwith’s “Trascendance”)

I know that if I had continued along the road of self-punishment and self-loathing I would still be sneaking leftover caramel cake.  But instead, I easily and effortlessly slipped right back in the rhythm and enjoyment of my juice fast.  All on the same day.

Has this ever happened to you?  In the name of a ‘spiritual practice’ have you ever taken the practice so seriously that it became a heart-constricting practice rather than a heart-expanding one?

If so, what do you do when you catch yourself slipping – especially when you are slipping into self-loathing and self-punishment for not doing it ‘right?’  I’d love to add your strategies to mine for the next time….

2 Comments on “Everything will be all right in the end….

  1. Michelle
    December 27, 2012 at 5:54 pm (5 years ago)

    Deb,
    I really appreciate the love and ease you demonstrate on “the journey.” I love how you “out” yourself-that proves you are the brave leader I know you to be.

    I too have been in the same situation when changing my eating habits, especially when I get hijacked by the sugar monster. The thing that helps me is to recognize that it is just a day in a week, month year and that I can always start again, making different choices. It does not mean I have to go into the downward spiral of unforgiveness and disapproval when I slip up. I find something to be encouraged by or even enjoy something in the moment because I am not into deprivation. I feel like the slip is double if you beat yourself up about it! So you went unconscious, and the stress of self loathing creates more stress! If I choose to notice vs beat myself up, I can avoid that downward spiral into dispair, I am avoiding the surge of stress hormones that I think is a part of my very slow release of weight in the first place. How you make it feel is so important and awareness is so important in retraining your brain to not stress about it so much. Tomorrow is another day -forgive and start again-you have many chances. Why not enjoy it? (Not more cake enjoy, but the feeling of joy-hee hee)

    Love M

  2. Dr. Deb Kern
    December 27, 2012 at 10:05 pm (5 years ago)

    Thank you for this amazing message! You absolutely hit the nail on the head when you said your slow release of weight has been due to avoiding that surge of stress hormones. SO TRUE!!! Here’s to loving our bodies and allowing them to naturally gravitate toward healthy behaviors when we don’t beat ourselves up! Love,
    Deb

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